Going Back...

I have been trying to write this post in my head for a while, but I just couldn't get the words perfect. So here goes nothing...

Someone once said,
"You never know what you have until it's gone"
Someone also said,
"Never let the fear from striking out keep you from playing the game"

These two quotes have been instrumental in helping me make my decision on where to go for the next stage of my life. I "took a break" from school this semester with the idea that I was really taking an idefinite break from college. I was so done with it. I wasn't happy with how BYU met my expectations and I wasn't happy with how I, thought, I had been failing. I felt like I'd been failing at most things there. Now I know that I have had some pretty unreal and unfair expectations of myself and of BYU. But I've been working on that.

So I have now decided to go back. I am going back to school and I am going back to Provo. I have come to the conclusion that I really do need a college education, and that it doesn't need to be finished before I turn 21 or even in 4 years. I am going to go back with money in my pocket and a drive to find a job. I am going to graduate as debt free as possible. I am going to do my best but I am not going to stop trying because I fall short sometimes.

Throughout my life I have been really, really good at excelling among mediocre people. But not so good at excelling around exceptional people. That is why BYU scared me so much. BYU is full of exceptional people who I felt I had no business competing against because I always fell short. So I let my fear of failing keep me from trying anymore.

This time going back to school, I am not going to go in a whirlwind of not knowing what was going to happen and settling for things. I am going to do it my way. With my choice of housing, my car, and my money.

Therefore, if you happen to get to the end of this, I applaud you. I also need your help. For tthose of you in Provo, I am now looking for decent priced housing in Provo starting in January. I would love for you to let me know if you hear of any apt's for rent relatively near BYU.

Thanks!