Reasons Why...

As the time for me to go home for the summer approaches and the school years is ending, I keep saying to my friends and roommates "The main reason I can't wait to be home is ..." So, I thought I could just make a list:

REASONS WHY I CAN'T WAIT TO BE HOME!

1. I will have a job! And an income!
2. I can start getting out of debt!
3. I don't have to go grocery shopping!
4. I will have kitchen and storage space!
5. I will have my own room!
6. I can give my sister her birthday present!
7. I will be done with school for a really long while!
8. I will be so much closer to China!
9. I will be able to use my mom's nice camera!
10. I will finally know my schedule and be able to make summer plans!
11. I will be able to make cookies with a mixer, and not just a fork!
12. I will be able to play with and spend time with my brothers!
13. I will be able to play with and spend time with my sister!
14. I will have a car!
15. I can start fundraising and collecting for China!
16. I will be able to have N'Dulge cupcakes again!
17. I can have UTZ chips again!
18. I will have a TV!
19. I WILL JUST BE HOME WITH MY FAMILY!

Societal Pressures

So, today, I had an interesting conversation with my roommate and came to some startling realizations. I learned that I tend to lean heavily on expectations of me created by me and others. I also lean heavily on how I think everyone else views something. For example, after my parents tried to convince me many, many times to take a year off between high school and college, in order to work and save money and get a little older (I was 17), I completely ignored them. Not only did I want to go to college immediately, instead of waiting for the fall semester, I had to go to college two days after I graduated high school. I was 17, broke, and naive. However, hindsight is 20/20. Looking back, after these last almost 2 1/2 years, I wonder what the heck was I thinking?!? I hadn't.

First of all, BYU was the only school that I ever wanted to go to. I had grown up my entire life knowing that BYU was the most difficult LDS school to get into, and I thrive on competition. I had grown up knowing that my daddy went to BYU and that if he did it, then I could do it. I had grown up knowing BYU was a very cheap school and that college was expensive. I had grown up knowing BYU was pretty much all mormons, except for maybe 2 percent of the campus population. I had grown up knowing that a college education was important. I had grown up with the idea that you graduate high school, go to college and get married, and settle down and be happy. I was so wrong!

College competition is hard. In college you actually have to do this thing called studying. Who knew? My daddy didn't go to BYU until after he was married and had life experience. He didn't go to college at 17 and succeed. like he did. College is so expensive. I've been here almost 2 1/2 years and I am so broke it isn't even funny. I work and earn maybe 4000 each summer, but then go off to college and spend twice that much on everything. Having a college education is important, but it does not need to be completed before one turns 22. It just won't happen. Finishing college in 4 years is basically a fantasy that every high schooler is made to believe. Now I just laugh. After 2+ years I am so finished. Don't get me wrong, I want to graduate, and have a degree, but I am so burnt out! I am so excited that I have been given the opportunity to go abroad and travel for a while and then that my religion gives me the opportunity to go serve a mission for a year and a half. Because of these options, I have time to think and decide for sure what I really want to do.  Just in the last year I've decided and rejected atleast 3 different majors: exercise science (for physical therapy); business (to consult with and improve businesses); and an American Sign Language major (for ASL interpretation). And in the last 2 weeks I've gotten interested in photography and culinary school.

Honestly, I'm done letting society tell me what I should be doing and when I should be doing it. I am only 19 years old, dang it! I don't need to be married. I don't need to breeze through college in 3 years, nonstop. I don't need to be stick thin. I don't need to be super in debt. I only need to be who I want to be. And thankfully, I have the best people on my side: my mom and dad; my siblings; and my Heavenly Father.

Desserts. Photographs. ASL. Awesome.

So, generally, every weekend I search Pinterest and find a recipe or two that seem like they would be really fun to make. And generally, they are desserts, wait, they are always desserts and generally, they turn out great! That is one career path I can see myself going down is opening a bakery, but instead of just having breads and cakes, I would have all kinds of innovative desserts. Just in the last few months, I have made chocolate chip cookie dough cupcakes; brownie rollups; cookie dough covered brownies; peanut butter cups; oreo stuffed brownies; and cinnamon rolls. I just love desserts, and that may be why I have spent so much money on food in the last few months. I haven't bought real food, I've bought baking food. And it's just so much more fun than real food. Anyways, I have about 4 more weeks left of school, and while school is in session; I think I'm going to make a recipe book. And since I've made that decision, I've been really excited about it. If I make it good enough...I may even be able to sell it. Fundraiser for China....Dessert cookbooks, with tried and true dessert recipes. Yes!

I have also recently discovered a love for photography. I have a cousin that does photography, and she got my mom interested in photography, and I have a couple of good friends who do photography (and when I day 'does photography' I mean that they have cameras worth a couple thousand and get paid almost that much to do what they do). Except, I don't that nice of a camera. And I really don't like, bordering on hate, photographing people. I love, love, love to photograph scenery. And I have a pretty decent camera. Somewhere between a point and shoot and a nice camera. It takes awful indoor pictures, but pretty amazing outdoor pictures. So, last weekend, I went on a walk around BYU's campus and took some outdoor pictures. And it was so fun! I spent a couple hours this week editing them and then posted them on my facebook page. I can also see that as a potential career path.

 Waterfall on BYU Campus

Children's toys 

Brick path on BYU Campus 

NYC Buildings Jan 2012

NYC 9/11 Memorial 

Beautiful flowers on BYU Campus 

Match Factory in Bellefonte, PA 

 Boutineer from Rachel on brick wall of Southridge Apts

Talleyrand Park in Bellefonte, PA 

Wall Mural in Provo, UT on Freedom Boulevard

On the topic of career paths, I have also rediscovered my love for American Sign Language. Sometimes, I really don't like it, but it's not because of the language itself, it's because of the teacher. I don't like being taught one way and then getting in trouble for signing it that way, when the teacher thinks it should be a different way. But, I guess that's what you get for learning a language that is not universal and isn't even the same in most households. Anyways, I get so excited now, because when I watch ASL movies or I see people signing, I UNDERSTAND THEM. I understand most of what is signed, and the rest that I don't understand, I am able to fill in with the help of context clues (maybe my 4th grade teacher was onto something). It is just so exciting. Now, if I could only sign like I understand, I could pass the exam right now and become an interpreter. But, alas. It's not that easy. Nothing's ever that easy.

6.more.weeks.

Sometimes you just need to blast music in your headphones and stop worrying about the world.

So, Monday, was a really great day. It was the first of a few 50+ degree days  this week. That in and of itself was amazing. Monday was also the day that I got my assignment for China in the fall. I have been assigned to Weihai, China. For those of you who have absolutely no idea where Weihai is (and neither did I until after a few google searches), it is in eastern china on the very edge of a peninsula. It looks a little something like this :) :) :) :) -->

 Across the ocean from Weihai is South Korea and Japan. Even though I don't get to go to either of these places, it's still pretty cool. This peninsula is pretty large and has almost 1,000 miles of beach on it. I.AM.SO.EXCITED! I am going to be at the beach all the time! :) Weihai is also relatively close to Beijing and Shanghai. I probably wont make it to Hong Kong, but hey, I'm going to be in China. I still think that's pretty great. I told my 7 year old sister that I would be living in China this year, and she gasped and said, "Living?!?". I thought that was pretty great. So, basically Monday was pretty good.

The rest of this week haven't been bad, but they haven't been great either. I am just ready to be done with BYU and roommates and apartments and being jobless. I'm finished. It's too bad, though, that I still have 4 1/2 weeks of school, 1 week of finals, and ILP training standing between me and my flight home.

I did get to see a movie yesterday, about Audism. It was for my ASL class, and going into it, I was thinking, "this is stupid" or "do I really need to go watch this". But it was required, so I went. I am so glad that I did. My career path right now is to become an American Sign Language Interpreter/Translator. That is my dream job right now. Anyways, this video was about audism and what that should mean and does mean to people. Audism is the belief that having the ability to hear makes you superior to those who cannot hear. Audism is essentially discrimination of deaf people. Like sexism or racism, for sexes and races. In the movie these deaf people gave their experiences of discrimination, and my heart broke over and over for the entire hour that this movie went. Especially at the end when there were little, little kids signing. The movie had subtitles, "for the signing impaired" (the movie was entirely in sign). Usually, I find myself just reading subtitles and not worrying about the original content of the movie. However, as I sat there, I found myself actually understanding the majority of what was signed.

It was then that I realized that I really am learning something. I have taken sign language for a year and a half, and I understand a pretty good bit of it. And I can speak somewhat decently as well, atleast hold a conversation. I feel amazing with that realization! I want to be an ASL interpreter, not just because it is a very unique job, or because it is in high demand. I want to be an interpreter because it is the right thing to do. I can make this world better for a group of people who would otherwise be alienated by this world. This world was not made for the deaf, but that's not their fault. Because this world was made for the hearing, it is the hearing's responsibility to make it accessible and accommodating for the deaf. It's up to us not to alienate those who belong here as much as we do.

Weekends Are Great.

So, this week wasn't all that special. It was actually really boring. I didn't have anything to do, and I was ahead on homework. Not fun. But, this weekend was a lot of fun!! Well, atleast Friday and Saturday were great.

So, on Friday, I got all of my paperwork, which includes having applied for my very first passport, in to be able to get assigned to a city in China for this fall. I am so excited! So, hopefully, I'll get that assignment on Monday and I can finally make definite plans for this summer! I also played in my first real soccer game Friday night. Well, my first soccer game since I was like 4. Doesn't really count. The game was pretty awful. We got beat 9-0. I basically stood there on the field looking like an idiot. I didn't know the rules, so I wasn't sure how much contact was allowed. Or where I was supposed to be. Or what people were yelling at me for, while I was trying my best to play. I learned one lesson from last night...never agree to play in an intramural game for a sport that you have never played before.

Saturday, today, has been pretty great as well. So, a few weeks ago, my summer roommates and I decided we needed to have another roommate get together. Every roommate reunion so far has consisted of meeting at a central location, and eating at various restaurants throughout the Provo/Orem area. Most of the time, we end up at the Brick Oven, though. Amazing food, awesome Brown Cow Milkshakes, and some really great memories can be found there. Anyways, we decided that instead of going somewhere to eat, that we would just meet at someone's apartment and .... make homemade Cafe Rio! Since it was my idea, I agreed to make the meat. That was quite a surprise even to me, because I've never really cooked meat before, other than ground beef. However, after probably 6 related calls to my mother, 15 frantic google searches, and 2 'oh-i-forgot-a-few-things' grocery store runs, it turned out amazing! Every single one of the girls had atleast 2 burritos, and I think one may have had three. Needless to say, there were no leftovers. So after the girls all left our apartment, Shirley and I retreated to our rooms and dawdled for a few hours. I did a little homework, but not too much! If I get too far ahead, I will be amazingly bored over the week. And then I got this amazing idea...I have chocolate cake mix, cream cheese, and powdered sugar! My roommate last year, Rachel, would always make these awesome homemade oreos, and I realized that I have all the ingredients for that. So, that is what I just finished making, and I'm pretty proud of them. I found the idea online to roll the edges of the 'oreos' in sprinkles, to make them pretty, and it worked! 

Also, just as a side note, I woke up in the middle of the night two nights ago, holding my lamp in my arms, all wrapped up in the cord. I was so confused, but once I realized what I was doing, I clipped it back on my bed frame, and went back to sleep. It was so weird!

Also, also...I will be home in 49 days! I am so excited to start this new chapter of my life and say 'see you later' to college and school. I've been in school for over 16 years of my life. That's a long time! I am also super excited, because my favorite cousin, Brittney, has decided to take a vacation to Pennsylvania at the exact time that I'm going home. We are even on the same flight! 

:-)